Author & Punisher

I was raised to laugh at pain and smile in the face of danger, now I can’t tell when I’m upset because I don’t rightly know.
My face is all scrunched up in timid anger
I smile for reasons unbeknown
While my head is stuck screwy and my eyes lie to me
My stomach rests on a swivel
I look insane, I must sound crazy.
I’ll fall asleep standing up with my mouth agape
and a pen stuck to me like magnetic tape
But not in my nice big bed, I bought to haunt me
aloft this sham worth
me writhing in terror for 4 to 6 hours,
until the pins and needles reach my feet.
Un-tightly wrapped in neat, steamed, clean sheets
like the hands behind your back
as they should be around my nape
the fingers crossing out my heart
sentence me to a stern silence and watch me waste my breathe.
I’m like a dog with his head gently nestled in her lap;
and it’s my last trip to the vet
or, so I wish I was her pet.
So I wish so badly I were hers
Not reeking of a havoc much too well deserved.